Can you spot if a man is emotionally available-

When you first meet someone you may have no idea what their interests are and so you really don’t know if you have anything in common.

If you really like this person you may not care at first whether you have anything in common or not as your infatuation with this person convinces you that you need not worry about common interests at this point.

You may fall madly in love with this person very fast before you really get to know them well and you are convinced that everything will work out perfectly.  At this point in the relationship you don’t even think about common interests as they just seem irrelevant.

At some point in the relationship you will begin to notice your differences, especially if they are big differences and you begin to notice that you actually don’t have anything in common at all.

He loves loud, rock music while you love quiet, slow music.  He loves sport while you hate sport.  You love art and he hates art.  These are just some examples of interests that can differ and a few different interests aren’t a problem, the problem comes when you can’t find anything in common.

 

What if a guy has a passion for sky diving and does it quite regularly but his new girlfriend has an extreme fear of heights and flying and will not even consider the possibility of going sky diving with him?

That’s ok, that’s just one difference and I’m sure they can work around that.  But let’s say this girl loves dogs and is actually quite passionate about them and spends a lot of time showing her dogs.

She may even have a goal of one day breeding her dogs.  What if the boyfriend hates dogs and does not want a dog in his home and there is absolutely zero chance you will get him to go to a dog show?

Both of these examples are actually quite big differences and if there are a lot of differences like these then it can be very difficult to work around them.  If a couple had differences like in these two examples, when would they actually see each other?  They would always be off doing their own thing and at no time would do them together.

Then if the relationship reached a point of them wanting to move in together how would they solve the dog problem.  If a couple’s differences are this big then they may need to reconsider their relationship.

former player

There is more to a relationship than initial attracted and a good sex life.

For a couple to be happy together long term they do need to have some shared interests.  A good way to meet someone with similar interests is to spend time doing the things you love and if you go out to the places that involved your interests, e.g. dog shows, then you are likely to meet many people that share that interest.

You can then meet someone that is actually interested in talking about your interests and passions if they share that passion.  You can make a connection with someone that is much deeper than just being attracted to them physically.

 

You can also meet people with similar interests through dating agencies or websites.  When you join a dating website you will be asked to fill in some details about yourself and you can include your interests.  Then the dating service will match you to other people with similar interests.  You can soon meet someone that enjoys the same things that you enjoy and you can begin chatting to them online before actually meeting them in person.

Common interests

This gives you a good opportunity to meet someone and get to know them without letting physical attraction cloud your vision.

That’s not to say that you don’t want to meet someone that you find attractive, I’m sure you do want someone that you are physically attracted to.  But it is good to also get to know someone’s personality as well as having the physical attraction.

If you date someone simply because you are attracted to them physically and find that you have absolutely nothing in common then you may not have a happy life with this person.  At some point the physical attraction will not be enough and you will want more from the relationship.

It is fine to have some different interests as couples can benefit from occasional time apart doing their own thing, but generally you do need to have some interests so you can go out and enjoy yourself together.

Tina Devi ♥

 

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